Aside: Please Stop Calling Tax Hikes “Revenue.” Here are 10 Better Names.

For those following all the (very important) hubbub about the fiscal cliff negotiations, you’ve probably already noticed that neither Democrats nor Republicans seem to be able to call the looming need for the tax increases by their real name. Instead, we get euphemisms like Revenue. As in “we need a balanced approach that includes spending cuts and revenue.”

Guys, stop calling it that.

If we can’t come face to face with our fiscal obligation, then we might as well come up with more imaginative ways to shield our virgin ears from the horrific prospect of raising our collective tax rates by a couple percentage points. Here are some helpful ideas for how to refer to tax increases without watching your voice mail get filled to capacity by angry constituents.

  1. T-x Hikes
  2. Payroll Temperance
  3. Augmented Income Sharing Device
  4. The New American Way
  5. The Reverse Reagan
  6. The American Patriot Responsibility Act for Life, Family, and Freedom. And Guns.
  7. Pay for yo’ Damn Drones
  8. The Iran War Penny Drive
  9. American Exceptionalism Tax
  10. Sugar

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